OstrichSpeak

Ostrich - Speak... Hell what more can i say???!!!

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Gremlin Cabal

Newspapers collecting in the kitchen one day, strewn like chicken shit the next. A neat cupboard before a party and then suddenly, an amorphous fabric pile. The phone waits, waits, waits and rings when you’re in the bathroom… and dies when you rush out clutching your wet hair in a sodden bun and your body dripping wet. House plants die no matter how well you look after them. A newly dusted surface grimy in 24 hours. A much admired blouse, bought, ugly the very next day. A week gone by playing half life, a vacation plan on the weekend, suddenly work gushes through the cracks of your mail box. New debit card arrives promptly after five working days; the pin arrives two weeks later. The can of sugar suddenly ajar and teeming with ants. Freshly laundered sheets, stained the next morning. Long awaited album takes weeks to download, the hard drive crashes. The request show you faxed into has called you to put you on call on international TV, freak lightening blows your TV set up an hour before the show. The internet suddenly stops working the day you’re waiting for a reply on the huge deal you’ve cut.

Modern living. All this comes with the territory. All this is actual experience. If you have had these experiences, you have gremlins in your home too.

19 Comments:

At 12:21 AM, Blogger retarius said...

the amazing thing was, just about each line i was thinking "yup,..uh huh,,,YES!"

amazing, all our lives, spread out all over the world, different languages, climates, situations, hopes and fears, and we have all this in common yet still remain strangers to each other.

didn't mean to be all deep or whatever, it's the rain that gets to me. i liked this post. thanks.

 
At 12:33 AM, Blogger JP said...

Nice one. :)

 
At 4:58 AM, Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Gremlins!!! And here I thought we had mice! :)

Little bastards! :)

 
At 5:26 AM, Blogger HR Venkatesh said...

Ostrich,
it's strange that you leave a comment on my blog and i discover that you're from bangalore as i am!
and then i discover that jp leaves a comment on your blog and then i figure you must have navigated my way thanks to that link in the now defunct criminalenglish-live site.

oh well, nothing that surprising, is it.

 
At 6:05 AM, Blogger Mint Chutney said...

Traffic jam when you're already late, a no smoking sign on your cigerette break. It's like 10 thousand spoons when all you need is a knife. It's meeting the man of your dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife. (Isn't it ironic? by Alanis Morissette).

I prefer your thoughts...

 
At 7:50 AM, Anonymous Aisha said...

spkng of alanis, thr is a cool unplugged version of ironic. find it.

 
At 8:09 AM, Blogger Sray said...

Ah... and I thought it was the second law of thermodynamics (increasing entropy) :-D.

 
At 8:34 AM, Blogger Roger Stevens said...

Life can sure be exciting.

BTW I take issue with that Alanis song. Those things aren't ironic. There's nothing ironic about being in a traffic jam when you're already late. Or finding lots of spoons when you need a knife. Alanis obviously doesn't understand what the word means.

Being stuck in a traffic jam on your way to the annual police traffic light conference - that would be ironic.

 
At 10:23 AM, Blogger Manish Bhatt said...

Ahhhh... that explains a whole lotta weird things. I'd prefer a house-elf though.

 
At 1:22 PM, Blogger Sray said...

I would love to have someone similar to dobby the house-elf!

 
At 2:52 PM, Blogger Jay said...

a) Ants! Eek!

b) stained sheets = good

 
At 5:34 PM, Blogger Mint Chutney said...

Geez Roger, way to ruin the moment. : )

BTW, can you define irony/ironic for me (without looking up in a dictionary).

 
At 8:40 PM, Blogger the wheel said...

I have a gremlin that steals single socks, so I have about fifty socks without mates. If you see me walking down the street with one white sock and one green, you'll know why (but I'll pretend it's a fashion statement).

 
At 9:04 PM, Blogger LiVEwiRe said...

The sneaky bastards are everywhere. They are getting creative, too. Perhaps they need to have a run-in with the flapping vulva... That'll show 'em!

 
At 10:55 PM, Blogger transience said...

they should invent traps for these buggers. i'm tired of cleaning up after myself. i'd rather work on being a flapping vulva. woohoo!

 
At 3:14 AM, Blogger Manish Bhatt said...

Definitely the best name for a super-heroine after 'Evil Mom Lady' from Calvin & Hobbes has to be- The Flapping Vulva Lady

 
At 10:07 PM, Blogger banzai cat said...

Gremlins? Does that mean we gotta seal the food after midnight and we can't leave puddles of water out for fear of 'em getting wet?

I wouldn't mind getting a furry version of Gizmo meself. ;-)

 
At 9:09 AM, Blogger Roger Stevens said...

Flapping vulva> Where's that come from? It's that Transiense person. She's so rude.

Mint! There's two kinds of irony. One is saying something that's the opposite of what you mean. Like someone saying to Alanis, as she sits in her car in the traffic jam - Are you okay? And she says - Yes - I've never been happier. It's jsut short of sarcasm.

The other is dramatic irony. This is in a story, play or film when we the audience, or sometimes another character, knows something that the principal character doesn't know. Or when there are two sets of rules in operation that contradict one another.

Hope that helps.

 
At 4:09 AM, Blogger Rat said...

Its a cooler version of Ironic :)

 

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